So Not Wonderland
by MissMiniKakashi
Summary: Abby and Nina are to regular girls from California, life is boring as usual but these two girls are in for a surprise when they are transported into the fictional world of their favorite Anime. Chaos,Romance,and Drama ensues! -Kaka/OC,Shika/OC,Itachi/OC
1. The Magic of Music

**A/N: Soooo the idea for this fic popped into my head the other night while reading_exotic-rose18's_ fanfiction _What Do You Mean Im A Ninja?_**

**So tell me what you think of it ^_^ Review!**

**This is Soooo Not Wonderland**

**XxXxX**

**The Magic of Music**

"God it's so hot today, why's it always so friggin hot!" Abby looked over her shoulder at Nina who was laying with Amaya, the love of Nina's life an adorable Toy Poodle she'd had forevers.

"Because this is California, it's the middle of summer and normal Californian's are inside with their nice central air or down at the beach, not lounging underneath the Hollywood sign." Abby couldn't help but smile, she knew Nina was right but she loved it up there, she loved Los Angeles period. She jumped up and dusted herself off, "Fine, lets go Nina, lets go to the beach or at least go swimming back at the apartment, preferably the apartment I hate the beach."

Nina just laughed at her and picked herself up off the floor bringing a sleeping Amaya with her. She knew why Abby hated the beach so she made do with their apartment swimming pool during the summer, at least as long as she was with Abby. "You know it's not normal to hate the beach as much as you do and live in California, when you picture Cali you think beaches right away."

Abby climbed through the window on the passengers side and threw the drivers door open for Nina, "Unless you're smart like me and realize the beach is evil, and has a mind of it's own which it uses everyday to plot our demise."

Abby threw her seat belt on and picked up her book to read as Nina got situated, placing Amaya in the back seat on a pile of blankets they'd bought for Amaya over the years. Nina started the car, blasting the radio as they drove down the dirt road back to civilization. Nina had learned not to question Abby's bizarre musings on certain things, one of those things was Abby's absolute certainty that the beach was evil, ever since she almost drowned after getting knocked over by a wave when she was younger. Nina let her best friend believe her bizarre theories and get lost in her many books, because that's what made Abby, Abby. Well that and her absolute obsession with Naruto. One of the many things they had in common Naruto was the main thing they found. Abby loved Kakashi, and Nina loved Shikamaru.

They made it back to their apartment building in record time, Abby was singing along with the radio so they sat there waiting for the song to finish, and that's when it happened. One minute Nina had joined in singing along to _Journey's Don't Stop Believing_, the next they were screaming and falling through never ending blackness. Abby grabbed onto Nina, who grabbed Amaya and pulled her in. "WHAT'S HAPPENING NINA!" Nina held Amaya tightly and tightened her hold on her best friend. "I HAVE NO CLUE ABBY,NO GOD DAMN CLUE!"

They kept falling, for a few minutes closing their eyes at around the same time. They hit solid ground or so it seemed, Abby opened her eyes and looked for Nina, she quickly realized she couldn't see Nina or feel her hand anymore. She jumped up and screamed for Nina and Amaya, she was ready to run in random direction A when a hand grabbed her from behind, Abby let out a girly shriek and spun around, kicking her leg out in the process. She was a little shocked when her kick was stopped by the same hand that had grabbed onto her. Standing before her holding onto her leg was one very real and very pissed off looking Kakashi Hatake.

"Uhm...hello Kakashi, funny meeting you like this." Abby could have kicked herself for the idiotic words that slipped from her lips. "Who are you, and how do you know my name?" Abby was at a loss for words, she couldn't very well tell him she was a human girl from California and that he wasn't real so she'd be leaving now.

"Hahaha yeah funny story that, uhm I'd love to tell you all about it but I have to be going now, I'm sure Nina and Amaya are looking for me." With that she pulled her leg away and started running towards direction Z, as in anywhere but where she was at the moment. "Hey! Girl stop!" Abby kept running, yelling back to him as she ran. "I have a name you know!"

She was gaining some distance and then suddenly, he was right in front of her. She couldn't stop herself in time, she slammed face first into Kakashi taking him down on the process. She sat up and looked down at the shocked Kakashi and started complaining. "Stupid Ninja and your stupid super quick running abilities!" She was in the middle of cursing Kakashi's super ninja skills when she suddenly found herself tied up and thrown over his shoulder.

"Hey, HEY! This is kidnapping, I'll report you to the Hokage for this!" Kakashi laughed at her, "Very well you can tell him all about it when we get there, as a matter of fact tell him while you explain how you suddenly appeared from thin air right in front of me. "Him? What do you mean him! Isn't Lady Tsunade the Hokage?"

Kakashi stopped walking for a moment. "No she is not, our Hokage is the Third Hokage Hiruzen Sarutobi, how do you know Tsunade?" Abby could have kicked herself for that slip up, "Anywho...so I take it Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke haven't taken the Chunin Exams yet." Kakashi stopped walking again and dropped her on her ass, "Oww, you could have put me down a bit more nicely!"

Kakashi just glared at her some more. "They are taking the exams in three days, how do you know my students?" Abby realized if she kept talking she would only dig herself an even deeper hole, "I'll just wait to talk to Hiruzen-sama, carry on Kakashi." Kakashi resisted the temptation to beat the aggravating girl on the ground and continued walking. Abby hopped up and ran after him hands bound in front of her.

"Hey you can't just leave me here, I'm still tied up!" Abby ran after him stumbling over her feet and nearlt face planting three different times in her hurry to keep up. She got fed up with walking and ran and jumped onto the Copy Ninja's back, he'd been reading up until she hopped on his back. "What are you doing?" Abby just smiled and got comfy, after a minute of no answer Kakashi went back to walking and reading.

**Meanwhile: With Nina and Amaya**

"Amaya this is soooo not Wonderland, and where the hell did Abby go?" To Nina's amazement Amaya answered, "Holy fucking shit, Amaya you can talk!" Nina received a bewildered look from Amaya, "Holy shit Nina, you actually understand me!"

Nina spent the next ten minute talking to Amaya, before she remembered she was supposed to be worrying about Abby. She grabbed Amaya and started running in Random Direction Q, she was running so fast she couldn't stop herself when suddenly a guy appeared in front of her, she ran right into him and sent them both tumbling down to the ground.

She lay there relearning how to breathe holding onto the guy she'd taken down, "What a drag, who are you?" Nina knew that sexy voice instantly and looked up at the boy she was laying on and let out a shriek of excitement and shock. "I KNOW YOU! YOU'RE SHIKAMARU NARA!" Shikamaru lifted her and a slightly squashed Amaya so he could sit up. "Yes, that's my name how do you know it?" Nina totally glomped Shikamaru who had been attempting to stand up, "YOU'RE LIKE THE SEXIEST KONAHA NINJA KNOWN TO MAN! HOW COULD I NOT KNOW YOU!"

Shikamaru blushed three shades of red and sat up with Nina attached to him. "uhm...thanks...uh...I don't know your name." Nina let him up and leaned down to get Amaya who was sitting at her feet, she tucked Amaya under her arm and stuck her hand out to Shikamaru. "Oh yeah silly me, I'm Nina Sofia pleasure to meet you Shikamaru. Where are we, and on your way here wherever here is did you happen to see a girl about my height with short, curly, red hair and brown almost black eyes, she was wearing shorts, a wifebeater and her Chucks last time I saw her, and she probably has her head in a book."

Shikamaru let her know he had seen no such girl and offered to take her back to Konaha. "Maybe she's there, and if she read's like you say maybe she knows Kakashi-Sensei." Nina couldn't help but laugh at the thought of Abby's reaction to meeting Kakashi, "Maybe, hopefully she's somewhere in town because Abby doesn't do to well on her own, in fact on her own she could very easily piss off the Pope."

Nina and Shikamaru walked in a comfortable silence until they got to Konoha, the moment they hit town she knew exactly where Abby was. Nina could hear Abby screaming from the moment they entered the city, they ran to where they heard her. What Nina saw had her laughing so hard she almost pissed her pants. There in front of her was Kakashi running around with Abby hanging onto his back and punching him in the head, Nina watched as Kakashi flung her friend off and pinned her to the ground. Nina tried to warn Kakashi but it was too late, the moment Kakashi pinned her and Abby realized she was pinned she headbutted the Copy-Ninja. "Yeah take that Kakashi!"

Abby scrambled out from under a momentarily dazed Kakashi and was running in the opposite direction when she was tackled to the floor by Kakashi. He took her down like the professional badass he was and knocked her out. Thats when Nina jumped into the fray, "Hey you creep let Abbs go!" Nina kicked Kakashi in the head as Amaya bit into his leg. Kakashi let out a yelp of pain and let go on Abby, Nina was leaning down to untie Abby when she was hit from behind by none other than Kiba Inuzuka, Nina fell to the ground getting a momentary glimpse of her precious Amaya facing off against a dog she recognized, Akamaru Kiba's partner. "You go Amaya!..." Nina passed out after that.

**I Can Tell The Future...Whooooo!**

Kiba, Kakashi, and Shikamaru all escorted the two unconscious girls to the Hokage's Tower, Shikamaru holding onto Amaya who would bite anyone else who tried to touch her. "Taken down by a girl with her hands tied up, that's sad Kakashi, very sad." Kakashi glared at Kiba who was carrying Abby in his arms, "Shut up Kiba." Kiba laughed at Kakashi who was carrying Nina. "She ways like nothing Kakashi and her hands were tied together, seems to me like you're getting old."

Kakashi said nothing, instead opting for kicking Kiba in the shin. Kiba let out a yelp of pain and almost dropped the girl in his arms. "Not nice Kakashi." Kakashi just smiled to himself and walked ahead and into the Hokage's office. They waited for the girls to wake up, Nina came to first and looked around she spotted Shikamaru with Amaya and offered an apologetic smile to him, and glared at the others. When Abby woke up she took a look around,waved hi to Nina, kicked Kakashi in the leg and ended up on the floor in the process.

Everyone even the Hokage laughed at the accusing glare she gave Kakashi. "It's your own fault, you chose to kick me." Abby sat up and scooted away, "I regret nothing, not a damn thing." She looked up from her spot on the floor and smiled brightly at the Hokage, "Hiruzen-sama good to see you still alive!" The Hokage gave her a questioning look. "Ok yeah...this is going to sound hella insane believe you me, but I swear I'm telling the truth so just hear me out." Hiruzen smiled at her and nodded that he would listen.

"Ok so during the Chunin Exams, your ex-student Orochimaru will lead an attack on Konaha via the sand triplets Gaara, Temari and Kankuro, dont worry though Naruto defeats Gaara and kinda saves the day, well you sacrifice yourself to save the village and Sasuke the little bastard runs away eventually joining up with Orochimaru because he wants revenge on Itachi, but you and me both know his revenge shouldn't be on Itachi but Danzo. Yeah anywho, you need to stop them, and try not to die although Tsunade makes an awesome Hokage your death devastated everyone in Konoha. And in case you don't believe me about all this, you can go ahead and bring in Kabuto Yakushi he's Orochimaru's right hand man, he has a bit of an obsession with Naruto so keep him away from that boy, he won't admit to it all of course but I'm sure you got some nifty jutsu to make him squeel or at the very least let Ibiki at him."

Everyone in the room except for Nina and Amaya stared in amazement at her, "Oh by the way the Yondaime Kazekage is dead, killed by Orochimaru who is currently disguised as him and plotting this grand assault on Konoha during the Chunin exams."

The Hokage stood up and looked down at Abby, "These are grave accusations you are making, little girl how am I to know you aren't lieing or playing some elaborate prank?" Abby stood up off the floor and looked at Kiba and Shikamaru, "You two need to leave and take Nina and Amaya with you so I can speak with the Hokage and Kakashi." Nina looked like at her friend knowing what she was about to do and got up to follow Kiba and Shikamaru out the door.

As soon as the door shut Abby turned back to the Hokage, "Naruto is the third Jinchuriki of the Nine Tailed Demon Fox, his mother and father were Kushina Uzamaki and Minato Namikaze, his Godfather is none other than another of your previous students Jiraya, you know Naruto is Kushina and Minato's child you gave him his mothers name hoping it would help if no one knew he was the Fourths child.

And I know that you Kakashi," Abby turned away from the shocked Hokage and faced Kakashi, "You Kakashi Hatake, you graduated from The Academy at the age of five, made Chunin at six and you went by the Ninja Code book until the day your best friend died. Then you realized that, In the ninja world, those who break the rules are scum, that's true, but those who abandon their comrades are worse than scum. You came to this conclusion after Obito Uchiha the man who gave you your Sharigan said these words to you, _"Those that break the rules and regulations are scum. But those who abandon their comrades are worse than scum. If I'm going to be called scum either way, I'd rather break the rules! And if that's not being a proper shinobi, then I'll destroy that idea!" _And so Kakashi, Hiruzen-sama if that doesn't prove I'm telling the truth I don't know what will and you both fail as Ninja." With that Abby sat down on the closest chair and waited for someone else to speak.

Kakashi sat there silently, staring at Abby who only ignored him as Hiruzen called the rest of the crew back into the room. "I have listened to this young woman's story and I believe her, we will take action immediately to counter act Orochimaru's plans in the mean while you shall go about your normal routine, also before you leave these two young ladies will need a plausible cover story and a place to stay."

Everyone in the room looked at Nina and Abby, Nina trying to look harmless Abby just smiled her evil smile. Kiba spoke first, "I live on the Inuzuka compound so no dice, I could give the dog a place to stay that's about it." Shikamaru stepped forward, "I can give one of them a place to stay and show Nina where Kiba lives so she can see Amaya." Hiruzen looked to Kakashi, "Hatake, what about you? Don't you have a spare bedroom?" Kakashi smiled underneath his mask. "Nope."

Abby sat up straight and smiled even brighter. "Nina you can stay with Shikamaru, I'll figure something out and if not I can always crash on some random park bench." Hiruzen allowed everyone except Kakashi and Abby leave, not that Abby could have gone very far anyways her hands were still bound.

She glared up at Kakashi, "Wanna be a real pal and friggin untie me." Kakashi glared right back. "Any shinobi worth his salt would have broken free of that rope by now, some ninja you are." Abby launched herself out of her chair and tackled Kakashi to the floor,punching him in the head on the way down.

After being yelled at by Hiruzen and getting put back in her chair by ANBU who had appeared from thin air Abby spoke in her defense. "For your information Mr. Hatake, I'm not a ninja and I still kicked your ass." With that she flipped him the bird and turned back to Hiruzen. She sat there waiting patiently for something to be said, Hiruzen spoke up again.

"Kakashi she will be staying with you, put her on the couch if need be but she is staying with you and you are now in charge of her, she is your responsibility." Kakashi went to protest against it but was interupted by Hiruzen. "No if's, and's, or buts Hatake, you may leave now." With that they were both thrown from the Hokages office, Kakashi immediately started walking away. "Hey wait! Aren't you going to untie me!" Kakashi kept walking and Abby gave chase, meanwhile Hiruzen listened from in his office and couldn't help but laugh at them both.

**A/N: Tadah! Review ppls, they are mucho appreciated!**


	2. Teach Me How To Be A Ninja!

**Teach Me How To Be A Ninja!**

Nina was enjoying herself as Shikamaru showed her around town and where Amaya would be staying, and then she remembered she had left her best friend tied up in an office with a guy who her friend didn't seem to like too much or so it seemed, but Nina knew better she saw through Abby's show and caught on right away to the fact that Abby had a humongous crush on Kakashi Hatake. "Nina are you ok?" Nina looked to Shikamaru and realized she spaced out while thinking about Abby.

"Yeah I just feel a little guilty about leaving Abbs with Kakashi, it would be fine if I hadn't left her there tied up." Shikamaru smiled at her, "Don't worry she seems like a good ninja she held her own against Kakashi." Nina doubled over laughing, she ended up on the floor cracking up as Shikamaru stared at her weirdly.

"I don't get it, what's so funny?" Nina stopped laughing and looked up at Shikamaru. "Me and Abby, were not Ninja, were normal girls from California." Shikamaru looked at her like she'd grown a second head and sprouted wings. "What do you mean your not ninja, your friend held her own against Kakashi the Copy-cat Ninja of Konaha." Nina smiled knowingly, "That's because Abby's from California and she grew up fighting boy's twice her size, but I assure you we most definitely are not Ninja." Shikamaru looked thoughtful for a moment then smiled down at Nina. "Nina how would you like to become a ninja?"

Nina flew up off the ground, "Are you kidding, I'd love to become a Ninja...but I don't have chakra." Shikamaru laughed, "What are you saying, of course you have chakra." Nina shook her head in disagreement. "No I don't." Shikamaru frowned. "I'm looking at you Nina and I'm telling you, you have chakra and lots of it. We just need to teach you how to control and use it." Nina glomped Shikamaru. "So your going to teach me how to be a ninja!" Shikamaru laughed and crawled out from under Nina, "Sure as long as you stop attacking me." Nina blushed tomato red and stepped away from him. "Ok."

**You're So Mean Kakashi Hatake!**

Abby found herself in Kakashi's living room, sitting on Kakashi's couch, still tied up with Kakashi's damn rope. After sitting there for a good twenty minutes, she figured Kakashi had died and decided to go exploring around his house. She found her way into Kakashi's weapon room, there were Kunia and Shuriken in holsters and a number of scrolls and different swords and other stuff all lining the walls of the rather large room. Off in the corner of the room was a haggered looking dummy and a punching bag along with some weights and in the middle of the room was a mat which seemed like it was for sparring. Abby picked up a kunai and was slicing through the rope that tied her wrist together when Kakashi walked into the room.

"What are you doing?" Abby jumped at his voice and in the process the kunai cut through the rope and lodged itself into her forearm. Abby stared in amazement as blood immediately started to pool and drip down her arm at an alarming rate, she turned to face Kakashi shoving her arms behind her back in the process. She refused to tell him she had just impaled herself with a kunai, she'd bleed to death before she told him. "Nothing, just cutting myself free." She waved at him with the hand that wasn't bleeding.

Kakashi smelled the blood the moment she cut herself, but decided he'd let her tell him on her own. Abby walked over to Kakashi and tried slipping past him, unknowingly leaving a trail of blood in her wake. "Kid you're bleeding." Abby stopped trying to sneak by and looked behind her, completely forgetting to hide her arm in the process. "Aww shit!" Kakashi caught sight of her arm and wondered how she'd done it, and wanted to beat her for not telling him sooner, from the looks of it she'd hit a vein and if she pulled the Kunai out on her own, she'd cause more damage and bleed to death.

"Thats going to need stitches and a medic which means a trip to the hospital." Abby looked up at Kakashi and panicked, she was standing there one moment the next she was out the door, and running. She'd lost blood upstairs and while running lost even more. She started to feel woozy as she hit the third floor, she made it three more steps and lost consciousness sending herself tumbling down the flight of stairs. Kakashi found her passed out at the bottom of the stairs, he carried her back upstairs, and started bandaging her wrist up. He had her arm stitched and bandaged up before she regained consciousness.

"There a reason why you high tailed it out of here at the mention of a hospital?" Abby who was propped up in Kakashi's bed under a bunch of blankets, turned away from him. "Hospitals are evil, people go there to die." Kakashi started laughing at that. "Stop laughing at me! It's not funny!" Kakashi kept laughing as Abby got more and more pissed. Finally fed up and embarrassed at the fact that she stabbed herself Abby had had enough. She stood up kicked Kakashi from the bed and started yelling at him.

"YOU ARE SO MEAN KAKASHI HATAKE! I FUCKING HATE YOU RIGHT NOW AND I WANT TO GO HOME, SO I'M LEAVING I'M GOING TO GO FIND NINA AND GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE! GOOD LUCK DEFEATING OROCHIMARU ON YOUR OWN AND BY THE WAY SASUKE USES THE CHIDORI FOR EVIL NOT GOOD AND AND I HATE YOU YOU JACKASS!"

With that little rant Abby jumped out of Kakashi's bed and ran out the door again, this time she made it past the third floor. Once outside the building she started running, realizing Kakashi would start chasing her immediately she ran for the river and jumped in, he couldn't track her now.

Kakashi looked at his bed wondering what the hell had just happened, he went to chase her and tripped over her bag on his way out the door. "Evil little monster, she's gonna be the death of me."

**Saved by an Uchiha**

She swam along the river, enjoying the water itself and calming down. She soon found herself at the waterfall, the same waterfall she remembered that Sasuke and Naruto would have their fight. Feeling adventurous and in desperate need to feel alive she ran and jumped down the waterfall. She screamed in happiness and excitement the entire way down, but right before she hit the water she felt someone grab her around the waist and stop her from hitting the water. She looked at the hand holding her, and then behind her at the body the hand was attached to and saw not other than Sasuke Uchiha. "It looks deeper than it is, the moment you hit that water you would have hit solid ground."

Sasuke carried her over to the rivers edge and let go of her, she dropped to the ground and stared in amazement at the spot where she'd nearly died from shear stupidity. "Wow...that sure was stupid of me." Sasuke gave one his signature grunts instead of speaking. "I'm Ab...I'm nobody important, thanks for saving me though, Sasuke."

Sasuke sat down next to her and actually spoke, "You aren't from around here, so how do you know my name?" Abby smiled and decided to be honest. "It's one hell of a story, I don't know if you're up for it." Sasuke looked thoughtful, "Yeah, I'm up for it." Abby smiled brightly. "All right, you are Sasuke Uchiha, one of three of the last Uchiha's in this world..."

She spent the next three hours explaining everything she knew about his life from the Anime she loved so dearly, she answered questions and in the end he started laughing, and then crying. She had left out a major piece of information, that being the Hokage's knowledge of it all, in the end she blamed it all on Danzo, the Council and Madara, also throwing in their whereabouts and the bit about Itachi doing it all for Sasuke, Sasuke didn't believe her at first, then she told him something nobody could possibly know except Sasuke and Itachi, she told him how Itachi always poked Sasuke's forehead and of the night of the Uchiha Massacre.

"No matter what happens now Sasuke, Itachi loved you and still does, don't trust Madara ever and most definitely don't trust Orochimaru, the best thing you've got going for you right now is your team, Team 7, you Naruto, Sakura and Kakashi. I know losing your family hurts but you need to try and move on." With that she got up off the floor, dusted herself off and walked off trying to find her way back to Konoha.

After wandering through the wood's hopelessly and only getting more and more lost, Abby gave up she climbed the first suitable tree and fell asleep as soon as the sun set. She woke up a few hours later shivering, her clothes still semi-damp Abby sat up and looked around trying to figure out what woke her up. It was sheer dumb luck that she fell out of the tree when she did, she looked up to where she had been laying previously and found several Kunai embedded into the tree. Abby jumped out of the way as three more came flying at her, she leaned over grabbed two of them from the floor and started running, she ran right into a trap. One minute she was running the next she was hanging upside down by her ankle, she pulled herself up and cut the rope just as her attacker appeared. She lay there stunned for a second as the ninja came closer, she waited for him to get close enough and stabbed him as hard as she could in the foot. The man let out a string of curses as Abby jumped up and started running.

She was running when she heard one of them address the other, "Screw capturing the little bitch, KILL HER!" Abby ran faster than she ever thought she could, screaming her head off. "THATS MISS BITCH TO YOU, YOU SCUMMY COW!" She held on to the last kunai and kept running, staying as quiet as she possibly could after that, realizing if they heard her they'd catch her, they were Shinobi she's just a puny little mortal. She kept running until she was cornered, she had her back to a wall and three shinobi in front of her getting closer. She thought about it and figured if anything in the Naruto verse her chakra affinity would be fire, so she stood there and concentrated performing the hand seals of the only jutsu she remembered from the show. Horse, Tiger, Snake, Ram, Monkey, Boar, Horse, Tiger. "Fire Style: Fireball Jutsu!"

To Abby's great freaking amazement it actually worked, out of her mouth came a giant fireball, the blast sent her flying through the wall she was up against, the fireball hit the three unsuspecting ninja and burnt the shit out of her mouth but she was alive. She stayed conscious long enough to see ANBU and a few people she recognized appear. She smirked at Kakashi, gave Sasuke a genuine smile and spoke up. "Take that Hatake." Abby passed out after that.

Sasuke looked at his Sensei, "You know her Kakashi-Sensei?" Kakashi laughed to himself, "Yeah, I'm supposed to be watching the little beast by order of the Hokage." Sasuke looked sown and the unconscious girl and laughed, "Seems to me like you fail at babysitting Sensei, who is she anyways?" Kakashi picked her up off the floor and began walking towards the hospital, "She's your new team mate Sasuke, she has absolutely no chakra control and has been taught nothing on ninjutsu yet she pulled off a C-Rank jutsu, she's your new team mate." With that Kakashi left Sasuke's side and ran for the hospital, he yelled out to Sasuke as he ran. "Go find Shikamaru and tell him to bring the girls friend to the hospital, let him know what happened!"

**You Suck Sensei, I'm In The Hospital!**

Abby woke up in a dark hospital room, Nina and Amaya were curled up next to her, Sasuke and Shikamaru were in the rooms only chairs asleep and her mouth hurt like hell but she was alive. She got up to go find a desperately needed drink, she climbed out of the bed when she realized her clothes were gone, all she had on was her undies and one of those much despised hospital gowns. She looked around in vain for her chucks and to her great dismay couldn't find them. She gave up and headed for the door, she actually had her hand on the knob when Kakashi decided to show himself, he stopped her from opening the door and covered her mouth when she started to scream. Abby started crying when his hand touched her mouth, Kakashi pulled back when he realized what he'd done.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you I just didn't want you to scream and wake everyone." He whispered this into her ear as she cried silently. "I'm thirsty and my mouth hurts like a bitch." Kakashi couldn't help but laugh at her words, "Ok follow me, I'll sneak you out of this place and we can go get some ice cream and be back before anyone wakes up." Abby smiled a little and nodded ok, "But I can't find my shoes, and my clothes are gone." Kakashi looked thoughtful before picking her up, "Problem solved for now, they'll give you back your clothes when they release you." Abby got comfortable in his arms and whispered back at him as he got them out of the hospital. "Those were my only clothes, they will give them back in one piece right?"

They got ice cream, which helped her abused mouth a lot and Kakashi stopped by his place and lent her one of his sleeveless undershirts, with the mask attached. She laughed as he carried her back to the hospital, "I'm a mini Kakashi." She was quiet for a while and then she asked him a question that had been bugging her since they left. "Before you wanted nothing to do with me, why are you being so nice now Kakashi. "Your a kid and your hurt, it would be inhuman to not be nice to you." She punched him in the arm, "I'm serious Kakashi, and I'll have you know I'm sixteen, I'm not a kid." Kakashi stopped walking and sat them both down on a nearby bench.

"You are basically a civilian, although you have chakra, and a lot of it I might add you don't know how to access it or so it seems. Yet tonight when you were in danger you not only harnessed your chakra you performed a C-Rank jutsu that I've only seen myself and a select few of others perform, you did this all and killed one of those ninja and wounded the other two, all this and you have no training as a ninja. That and if I hadn't laughed at your fear of hospitals you would never have run off." Abby smiled and started crying again, she leaned in and kissed Kakashi through his mask, "Thank you Kakashi for caring, and what did you expect I'm like totally awesomely awesomeful."

Kakashi couldn't help but laugh at her words, and to Abby's great amazement he blushed. "Well, I think it's time we got back to the hospital if they find you missing, they're going to blame me for being a bad influence." Abby let him pick her up again and fell asleep on the short walk back, when she next woke the sun was coming up and everyone was asleep, Kakashi had procured a chair and was asleep in the corner.

**Escape Via Fire Alarm**

She sat there waiting for someone to wake up for a good twenty minutes, after that boredom got the best of her and she decided to go exploring. It was while she was exploring that she found a nurse, she asked where she could find the patient check out station and whether or not she could get a patients article back there. The poor oblivious nurse gave her the information she needed for her grand escape, Abby snuck over there and waited for the nurse there to turn her back, it took her all of five seconds to run snatch her shoes, clothing, and her latest book which was water logged to her dismay but still alive. She walked into the closest bathroom put her her shorts and bra back on, she shoved everything else back into the bag, attached it to her hip and walked out with her nose in her book, and Kakashi's mask pulled up. She couldn't help but crack up at her reflection in the mirror on her way out.

Abby was walking down a random hallway when a nurse who she later assumed knew her, probably one of the nurses who admitted her called out for her to stop. Abby lowered her book, took one look at the nurse who was walking towards her angrily and booked it. She went flying around several corners and still hadn't lost the persistent kunoichi, so as a last ditch effort at freedom Abby pulled a fire alarm on her way around the next bend. Immediately alarms sounded, there were flashing red lights, sprinklers turned on and Abby took no extra time getting the hell out of there as the kunoichi ran the other way to tell them to turn it off.

Kakashi and everyone else woke up to screeching alarms and sprinklers going off, they all looked around and Shikamaru voiced everyone's thoughts. "Wheres Abby?" Nina grabbed Amaya and tucked her under her arm and headed for the door. "Who do you think set off those alarms." They all ran out after her, "If anything she's already escaped the hospital, so it's now a matter of finding her out an about Konaha. She can't be too hard to find she's in a hospital gown and bare foot." Kakashi spoke up, "She's not in a hospital gown anymore, and odds are she had her clothes back by now..." Everyone glared at Kakashi as he spoke. "Great! Everyone split up and find her, she can't be that hard to find she'll have her nose in a book, an abused book but a book none the less.

Sasuke was lucky enough to be the one to find her, she had climbed up a tree and was laying there reading and looking so Kakashi-esque. "You look like a mini female version of Kakashi-sensei." Abby fell out of the tree in shock at the sound of the Uchiha's voice. She sat up and rubbed her abused head, while smiling up at Sasuke. "Hello Sasuke, what brings you here?" Sasuke gave her a glare, and she realized why as she took a closer look at him, he was soaking wet. "Hehe what happened, you're all wet Mr. Uchiha?" Sasuke just looked up at the sky in exasperation, "You have to come back to the hospital, you know." Abby laughed at him and jumped up, she smiled at him and started backing away. "The only way you'll get me back into that hospital is if I'm unconscious or dieing, so bye!" Abby turned and ran straight into one very, very annoyed looking trio there stood Kakashi, Shikamaru and Nina. Abby gave in and went with Kakashi.

To her amazement Kakashi didn't drag her back to the hospital but instead brought her home. "You're sleeping on the couch no if's, and's, or but's about it." Abby couldn't help but laugh at his no nonsense tone, she gave him a mock salute. "Sir, Yes Sensei Sir!" Kakashi smiled as he handed her an extra pillow and blanket, "That's right I am your Sensei now, we begin training tomorrow. I'll introduce you to the rest of Team 7 then." Abby glomped him and started squealing with glee. "No shit, Im gonna be a part of Team 7!" Kakashi lifted her off and dropped her back on the couch, he was closing his bedroom door when he replied. "Yes now go to sleep."

**A/N: No Reviews yet, but thats ok, it was the same with my other stories, I'll keep updating ^_^**


	3. Whoa Whoa Naked Sensei!

**Whoa Whoa Naked Sensei!**

If Kakashi knew Abby he wouldn't have been surprised at the fact that she didn't understand the word "SLEEP" thus he would have known that she'd get up the moment he left her alone and try and entertain herself. So Kakashi should have been prepared for what he got the next morning. Abby spent the night practicing with all of Kakashi's weapons in the weapon room. She nicked herself a few times and in the end showered and bandaged herself up, she fell asleep wrapped in Kakashi's towel while she was bandaging up her foot which had a gnarly gash across it.

Kakashi woke up as the sun was coming up, he stumbled out of bed as usual and hopped in the shower, he did a double take at Abby's bloody clothes in the sink and his missing towels, he ran out of the bathroom completely naked from the chest down, repeating the mini mantra "Please don't be dead, Please don't be dead!" over and over again. He froze behind the couch at the obviously not dead Abby, who was staring up at him in astonishment. She blushed three shades short of a tomato and handed Kakashi a towel, before burying herself under her borrowed blankets. Kakashi wrapped himself in the towel and walked into his room with a dark cloud hovering over his shoulders. Abby hid under her blankets until he came back out and left. Abby swore then and there she wouldn't tell a soul about the little incident they had that morning.

After Kakashi left she went to wash what was left of her clothes in the sink, she hung them up to dry on his towel rack as she went to borrow some of his clothes for the time being, she picked out a pair of black boxers and another one of his undershirts. She pulled them on and returned his towel, after brushing her hair with a comb she found in his bathroom and brushing her teeth as best she could without a toothbrush she decided to attempt to find breakfast. She opened his fridge and was genuinely frightened, she swore the un-nameable blob in the one container moved, and his fruit drawer had a sad shriveled up bag of what she assumed were once grapes, other than that all she could find that was remotely edible was a can of sardines in one of his cabinets.

She passed on the sardines and filled a glass of water. She was hanging upside down on the couch reading Icha Icha: Violence when Kakashi returned, she was so into the book she didn't know he was there till he snatched the book out of her hands. "Hey I was reading that!" Kakashi looked at her then back at his book, "It's not for kids." Abby flipped off the couch and hopped onto Kakashi as he carried a bag and his books into the kitchen, she snatched the book back and slid off of Kakashi and watched very interested as he started pulling food out of the bag. "I'm sixteen and I've read much worse than this." Kakashi walked to his cabinets to pull out a couple of glasses and plates for the food. "Flip to page 67 and read that, if you can handle that I'll leave you be." Abby did as he said, and started blushing profusely as she read a very graphic scene which involved an Onsen and a warrior, and his apprentice who was a tiny female Medic. Kakashi took the book away from her as she looked like she was about to pass out.

They ate in silence Abby sitting with her back to Kakashi as she munched on Instant Ramen, she looked at the clock and realized Kakashi had been gone for two hours after the incident, she finished her Ramen and bravely faced Kakashi, "Aren't we supposed to have met the team at the bridge an hour ago?" Kakashi still in a bit of a mood looked at the clock and shrugged as he started to get up, Abby watched as he walked out the front door. She sat there for a moment before realizing if she didn't follow him she'd never find her way to the bridge. "Hey Wait for me Hatake!" Abby jumped out of her chair and gave chase, locking and slamming the door shut in her haste to catch up.

"YOU'RE LATE KAKASHI-SENSEI!" Kakashi smiled and rubbed the back of his neck, "Oh I'm sorry, you see there was this army of angry squirells..." Right when Naruto and Sakura were about to interrupt him Abby jumped out from behind Kakashi where she'd been previosly been hiding. "And they wanted our blood, they were vicious little monsters, they attacked me and I was defenseless you see they caught me by surprise, Kakashi came to my defense and saved my life." Kakashi smiled at her superb story making skills and went with it. "Yes exactly, I saw her there surrounded on all sides and came to her rescue, I used my Chidori and blasted several of them away..." Abby jumped in again, "Yes, and then he fought the remaining ten in hand-to-hand combat, because they were Ninja squirells of course." Kakashi finished it off, "Yeah, and then we buried them, which was the honorable thing to do, afterwards we came right over to meet you guys, everyone except Sasuke who's already been introduced, I'd like you to meet Abby she's the newest member of the team."

Sasuke stood off to the side and smiled slightly at their bizzare tale as Sakura gave Abby the scariest death glare ever, Naruto on the other hand clue less and loveable as ever jumped forth and started his introduction, it was haulted immediately as Abby glomped him. She climbed off of Naruto, said hello to Sasuke and returned Sakura's death glare. "Kakashi Sensei that throws the group off, we're only supposed to be a four man squad." Sakura said this without once looking away from Abby "Well now we're a five man sqaud, so pair up you guys are sparring today." Before anyone could move Abby jumped to Sasukes side, "I challenge you Mr. Uchiha!" Sasuke stared incredulously at her, Sakura raged along with inner Sakura at Abby's theft of Sasuke as her sparring partner, Naruto cried out that it wasn't fair he was gonna be Hokage why didn't Abby pick him, Kakashi just gave Abby an exasperated look knowing she would die very pitifully in a few moments. "Alright, start fighting."

Naruto and Sakura went off to one corner and started, Sasuke stood there watching Abby curiously as she turned her back to him hiding her hands from sight. Kakashi watched with a bemused smile as she concentrated and performed the hand seals for a Fire Ball Jutsu, Horse, Tiger, Snake, Ram, Monkey, Boar, Horse, Tiger, Abby flipped around as she finished the last sign. "Fire Style: Fireball Jutsu!" The fireball blasted from her mouth and took Sasuke by surprise, he threw himself backward and narrowly dodged the blast, when he looked at Abby her leg was coming right at his head. Abby couldn't help but smile and scream for joy inside her head, not only had she managed to pull off that Jutsu again, but before she had started fiddling around with Kakashi's weapons she'd spent a few minutes reading over her Naruto info she'd saved onto her computer, she learned several other nifty jutsu's and couldn't wait to try them.

Sasuke didn't have time to dodge so he took the kick and retaliated with a punch to her abdomen, the hit sent Abby flying across the grounds and into a tree, Sasuke performed the seals for Pheonix Sage Flower, Rat, Tiger, Dog, Ox, Rabbit, Tiger, "Fire Style: Pheonix Sage Flower!" Abby didn't even try to dodge the attack really, she threw herself to ground and started rolling away, to avoid the fireballs Sasuke sent at her, the whole time performing seals. "Dragon Flame Blitz!" Abby shot several balls of fire up a Sasuke, she passed out as they hit Sasuke mid-chest sending him flying away and into a tree. Sasuke lay there for a moment feeling the pain as Sakura and Naruto ran over to him, Kakashi picked up Abby and walked over towards them. "Kakashi, I thought she didn't know any Jutsu's?" Kakashi smiled dow at the unconcious girl and then his student. "She didn't, last I checked." Sasuke practiced with Kakashi for the rest of the training session, Naruto and Sakura sparred as Abby slept on obliviosly.

Abby woke up and wished she were dead, her mouth was on fire and it felt like she'd swallowed a bowl of cotton balls. She looked around and found Kakashi and the rest of the team were still sparring. She sat there and watched them until she got bored, then she very stealthly snuck away. She made it about five feet from the group when she ran into her beloved friend and Team 10, "CATWOMAN!" Nina who had been speaking with Asuma turned at Abby's yell, "BATMAN!" They both ran and hugged each other speaking to each other so fast not even poor Asuma could understand them. "OMG YOU TOO! KAKASHI MADE ME A PART OF HIS TEAM TOO!"

They continued on like that until Kakashi came running into the clearing they were in with the rest of the team looking slightly panicked. "WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING RUNNING OFF LIKE THAT, YOU'RE HURT AND DON'T KNOW YOUR WAY AROUND!" Abby blushed in embarrassment at Kakashi's outburst and yelled back at him. "I'M SORRY! I GOT BORED! AND I'M NOT TWO I CAN FIND MY WAY AROUND WITHOUT A FUCKING BABYSITTER KAKASHI!" Kakashi looked like he was about to strangle her, and Abby looked like she was about to attack him. And then Kakashi made the sad mistake of trying to take Abby where she didn't want to go. One minute Abby was on the ground, next she was in Kakashi's arms, and then Kakashi was bleeding and Abby was back on the ground.

Shikamaru leaned over to whisper into Nina's ear, "Did she really just bite Kakashi?" Nina nodded her head, that yes Abby had just bit Kakashi Hatake, and from the looks of it Kakashi was either going to beat her to death or near death. Kakashi didn't even try picking her up again, he poofed up behind her and knocked her out, he threw Abby's unconcious body over his shoulder and set off for home. Nina looked at Shikamaru and Asuma, "Can he do that whenever he pleases?" They both nodded. "Yep." Asuma looked down at Nina who looked ready to chase after Kakashi and save her friend. "Don't worry, Kakashi won't hurt her." Nina laughed at Asuma's words, "Sensei I'm not worried about my friend, I'm worried about yours, Abby's going to eat that man alive, he has no idea what he's taken on, if it where any other girl his methods would work, but this is Abby she's never going to listen unless he treats her like an equal."

**A/N: YAY! I KNO IT WAS SHORT AND WEIRD SRRY, I WAS HAVE LIKE NO INSPIRATION, MY MUSE IS IN VEGAS.**


	4. Attack Rabid Little Human! Attack!

_Asuma looked down at Nina who looked ready to chase after Kakashi and save her friend. "Don't worry, Kakashi won't hurt her." Nina laughed at Asuma's words, "Sensei I'm not worried about my friend, I'm worried about yours, Abby's going to eat that man alive, he has no idea what he's taken on, if it where any other girl his methods would work, but this is Abby she's never going to listen unless he treats her like an equal."_

**Attack Rabid Little Human! Attack!**

Abby woke up with a killer headache and quickly found she was tied to one of the kitchen chairs in the middle of Kakashi's training room. Her scream was heard all over Konoha, "KAKASHI! YOU SON OF A WHORE UNTIE ME NOW!" Kakashi walked into the room and held up a kunai along with one of her Converse. She shut up immediately and just glared at him. "First of all I'll have you know I'm pretty sure my mother wasn't a whore, second if you don't cooperate I'm going to slice up your beloved shoes."

Abby glared at Kakashi and refused to speak to him until he cut the tips of her pretty rainbow laces off. "Fine I'll listen." Kakashi put her shoe down and told her his list of rules and regulations. "Unless you can prove you're my equal or above me, you have to follow these rules." Abby smiled a very Chesire Cat worthy smile, at the beautiful opportunity Kakashi had just given her. "And how exactly do we prove I'm your equal or above you Kakashi?" Kakashi looked kind of surprised at her question, "We don't because you're not, you can't beat me in anything because I'm a ninja and you're just basically a civilian." Abby just smiled wider, "Untie me Kakashi."

He walked over and went to cut her loose, what he didn't realize was she'd already slipped free of the ropes. When Kakashi leaned in to cut the ties she headbutted him while reaching around and pulling out a kunai from his pouch, she slammed the kunai into his upper thigh and kicked him away. She jumped up and started throwing all the kunai and shuriken on his table at him, most missed or were knocked away but a few hit their mark. She was reaching up for a kitana when he appeared behind her and slammed her down into the table pinning her arms above her head and using his body to pin hers. She threw her head back to try and hit his face,but his head was tucked into the crook of her neck and his body kept her from trying to kick him. "Sooo...how bout them Lakers." Abby had the urge to crawl into a deep dark cave and hide. "I should kill you, I could kill you for that you attacked me."

Abby snapped, she'd been transferred from her nice human world to the elite Shinobi world and been pushed one to many times. So really the attack on Kakashi wasn't her fault, nor was what she did next. She grabbed a kunai and threw all her weight back into Kakashi, sending them flying away from the table. She flipped herself around and they landed with her on top of Kakashi, she stabbed him in the arm as he flipped them around so he was on top pinning her at the waist. She brought her legs up and hooked him around the throat and pulled back, locking his throat between her legs and started to squeeze. She would have squeezed till he was unconscious if Kakashi hadn't stabbed her in the upper thigh with the same kunai she'd stabbed him with. Abby let go and scooted away with wide eyes, she looked at the disheveled looking Kakashi then at the kunai lodged in her upper thigh and started silently crying. "You...you stabbed me." Kakashi looked at her leg and then down at the many many shuriken and kunai she'd actually hit him with. "You stabbed me first." Abby scooted farther away and looked at him like he'd kicked her puppy. "But I'm a girl and I'm not a ninja you should have been able to beat me without actually hurting me Kakashi."

Kakashi looked at her and just shook his head in disbelief as he started pulling out all the shuriken and kunai. He watched her out of the corner of his eye as she pulled the kunai out and tossed it away. She didn't even flinch she just stared at her thigh as blood started to pour from the wound. She got up and walked out of the room leaving Kakashi to clean up the mess, when he'd clean all his weapons and wiped up all the blood he walked into the living room expecting to find her sitting on the couch. To Kakashi's great annoyance she was gone and so was her stuff.

Kakashi found her with Pakkun's help, she was at the training grounds laying in a patch of grass looking extremely bored. "You can't just run off whenever you don't agree with something." Abby looked at him and smiled a little, "I can do whatever I please Kakashi you're not my mother you can't tell me what to do." Kakashi sat down next to her and started to clean and wrap her leg, she didn't move the entire time or let out any signs that it hurt. "I'd really like it if we could start again, okay Kakashi?" Kakashi nodded his ok. "I'm Abby, I'm eighteen and I'm from California, I like reading and being a pain in everyone's ass how about you?" Kakashi laughed at her words and went along with it, "I'm Kakashi, I like reading too and I think we're going to get along just fine." Abby smiled up at him and pulled her newly clean and bandaged leg away from his grasp. "I think so too Kakashi, especially since I just proved I'm you equal or pretty close at the least." Kakashi was about to say otherwise but he realized she was right, she was basically a civilian and she'd just kicked his ass, all because he was wary of her for fear of hurting her. He realized she'd probably planned it all out from the moment he told her she couldn't beat him at anything. "You planned this all, didn't you?" Abby looked at him and smiled brightly, "Do I seem like the kind of girl who would something so dasterdly." Kakashi smiled underneath his mask and stood up, "Shut up kid, let's go home."

**Morning, Scary S.O.B. ^-^**

Abby woke up on the floor the next morning, all she could see through her mop of red curls were two boots in front of her, she jumped up and threw herself onto the couch as pain blossomed from her thigh and shot to her gut like fire, she sat on the couch glaring at her bandaged thigh and ignoring the man in front of her. The man was none other than one very, very frightening Ibiki Morino. After the pain in her leg subsided she looked up at Ibiki and smiled. "Hello Ibiki, how can I not help you one little bit because you are one scary son of a bitch." Ibiki smiled down at her nervous rambling and knelt down to look at her bandaged up thigh, as he reached for her leg she reached over to the table and picked up her shoe, the moment he touched her, she swung her shoe and clocked him in the head. He froze as she glared at him, "I didn't give you permission to touch me Old Man."

Kakashi who had been sanding in his bedroom doorway the entire time busted up laughing at the incredulous look upon Ibiki's face as Abby crawled away from him with her shoes tucked under her arms. Ibiki stood up and followed after her with an annoyed glare on his face, Abby took one look at him screamed bloody murder, threw her shoes at him and ran to Kakashi. Kakashi found himself with one very panicked Abby in his arms and one determined Ibiki Morino walking towards them. "He's going to torture me Kakashi, don't listen to a damn thing he say's!" Kakashi looked at Ibiki and noticed that Ibiki wasn't alone, he had two ANBU with him walking up on his sides. Kakashi held onto her and backed into the room kicking the door shut with his leg. He sealed the door shut and started shoving clothes into a bag as they started banging on the door. "Hatake, she could be a spy or worse we have to question her!" Ibiki screamed through the door. Kakashi pulled open his closet and pulled out a bag he'd had Sakura bring by the day before, he dumped more clothes from that bag into his pack, pulled extra weapons from his closet threw them on and helped Abby get dressed in her newly purchased clothes.

"Where'd you get these?" Abby said as she hopped on one leg trying to pull her shorts off. "I had Sakura purchase these and other clothes for you, yesterday as I brought you back unconscious." Abby, finally got her clothes off and let him help her into a pretty white kimono with green ivy designs all over it, it wasn't a kimono in the traditional sense but it looked awesome, she sat down and pulled on a pair of black leggings and a pair of black boots. She was blushing bright red by the time they were done dressing her, she'd gone to sleep in one of Kakashi's undershirts and boxers, her underwear were hanging up in his bathroom still drying. Kakashi strapped a thigh holster to her leg and filled it with shuriken and kunai, he packed everything up and threw on the pack. Abby wanted to cry because, she knew he was risking his life for her and he barely knew her, he went out the window at the same time, Ibiki broke through the door.

Abby held onto to him for dear life as he carried her while leaping from roof to roof. "Where are we going Kakashi?" Kakashi kept running as he started speaking. "To get Shikamaru and Nina they'll probably have already taken her but it's worth a try and then me and Shikamaru are going to find a place to hide you, most likely the Uchiha compound only Sasuke goes there anymore."

When they got to Shikamaru's Shikamaru was on the porch and to Abby's great dismay Nina was already gone, "Ibiki came by and took her this morning with an ANBU guard to back him." Kakashi didn't even try to continue on, he took her to ANBU HQ and waited for Ibiki to come for them. "Kakashi you should go home, I'll deal with Ibiki." Kakashi put her down in a chair and sat down to wait. "We're a team now, where you go I go." Abby started to tear up at his words, but put an immediate stop to any waterworks as Ibiki walked out wiping blood from his hands with a rag. Abby jumped up and glared at him. "Wheres Nina?" Ibiki ignored her completely and tried to talk to Kakashi. Which is why he didn't see Abby pull out a kunai and stab him in the leg, until it was done. Abby was sitting there smiling at him as he looked down at the kunai in his leg and glared at her, one moment she was sitting there smiling the next Ibiki was draggin her away by the hair. "Help! Rape! NO MEANS NO! STRANGER DANGER!" Ibiki kicked her shutting her up instantly, he dragged her into a dark room and left her there. Abby sat on the floor rubbing her abused head and waited, ages later the door opened and they threw a frightened looking Nina into the room and dragged a kicking and screaming Abby out.

**You Hit Like A Girl!**

"How do you know all this information you gave the Hokage?" Abby found herself in and even darker room, strapped to a chair at the ankles and wrists. "You know Ibiki, it's customary to take a girl out to dinner before kinky bedroom activities." Ibiki appeared from out of nowhere and smacked her across the face, the slap sent her chair rocking and made her see all the colors of the rainbow. "You hit like a girl Ibiki!" Ibiki hauled back and decked her, Abby smiled up at him her lip split and oozing blood. "My nana hit's harder than you yah little bitch." Ibiki disappeared for a moment and returned with a table full of different blades of all different sizes. Some were curved, other serrated there was a very thin razor blade and even needles. "Oh joy it's like Christmas all over again...for me? Aww Ibiki you shouldn't have." Ibiki picked up a knife and started cutting. Abby's screams reverberated through the building to the point where even Kakashi could hear her. He kept questioning her throughout it all and called it quits when she started to pass out. They had a medic come in to heal her before the ANBU dragged her back to her cell with Nina, the medic had tired out before Abby was all healed up so Nina saw most of everything they did.

She ran to the door and grabbed onto the medic's arm, "Tell Kakashi Hatake what they've done, tell him!" The ANBU shoved her off the medic and pulled the girl away. Moments later The Hokage himself came into their cell with Kakashi following close behind. Kakashi was silent as he caught sight of Abby, her white Kimono was stained red by her own blood and she was curled up in a ball next to her friend. "Kakashi take the girl home, Shinji escort Miss Sofia to the Nara Compound, Fuyuki go with the ANBU and bring Ibiki Morino to my office. Kakashi walked past the Hokage and kneeled down to pick up Abby, she flinched when he touched her and kicked him in the side. "Abby it's me, let me help you." She let him take her home, either because she trusted him or she was unconcious he didn't really know which. "Hey Kakashi, she told Ibiki he hit's like a girl." This came from one of the ANBU guards, Kakashi recognized him as Genma. Kakashi couldn't help but laugh as her carried her home.

Kakashi stripped them both down and climbed into the shower with her, the water ran red for most of the shower, Abby oblivious to the world and Kakashi's tears the entire time. He ended up bandaging up most of her body and laying her in his bed covered by the blankets, he got dressed and left for the Hokages tower as she slept.

"SHE'S NOT EVEN A NINJA!" Kakashi snapped as Ibiki spoke in his defense. "She's a harmless girl and you tortured her for something we already knew." Ibiki smirked at Kakashi who was leaning against the window ledge. "You're becoming soft Kakashi, don't tell me you care about the little brat, she's not even from Konaha." The Hokage spoke before Kakashi could launch himself at Ibiki. "As of this moment both girl's are Konaha Kunoichi, they will receive names worthy of Konaha kunoichi and be trained by Kakashi and Asuma, Shinji go get me two headbands for our newest additions." The ANBU guard disappeared and re-appeared with the headbands moments later. "Give one to Kakashi and take the other to Asuma, tell him everything I've told you. Ibiki get out of here before Kakashi kill's you, and I expect a full report on your reasoning for torturing that girl, if I don't find it satisfactory you will be punished accordingly." Kakashi took the headband, punched Ibiki and left.

He returned home, to find her curled up against his pillows and crying in her sleep. "You're now a Konaha Kunoichi, Abby is no more...your name from this day on is Shiori, welcome to Konaha." Kakashi wrapped the headband around her arm and crawled into the bed, he fell asleep instantly.

**A/N: All Done! Review!**


	5. New Names

**New Names**

Abby expected to wake up in the holding cell at ANBU HQ, she was surprised to wake up curled up in Kakashi's arms feeling much too content with being there. She'd barely acknowledged the fact that she was hurt when she woke up, after trying to slip out of the bed she realized just how much everything hurt. An involuntary gasp of pain slipped from her lips and Kakashi was awake and out of bed gently pushing her back into it. "Nice try Shiori but you need to rest, those wounds wont heal fully for a couple days even with that medics help." Abby layed back down as told but was so confused at what he'd called her. "Uhm...what did you just call me?" Kakashi smiled down at her, "Look at your arm." Abby obliged and was surprised and excited to see she had a headband of her very own. "Well that's interesting, but what's with the name?" Kakashi looked thoughtful, "Well you need a name that blends in around here if we're to pass you off as a Konoha Kunoichi, I picked Shoiri I think it suits you, but if you don't like it you can choose something else." She smiled at his words, "No Shiori is perfect, I love it." Shiori layed back down and started questioning Kakashi about being a ninja, they sat there and talked for hours before her body decided it was done and she fell asleep. While she was asleep Kakashi left to go shopping and check in on Nina.

"Hello Shikamaru is Nina around?" Shikamaru smiled at Kakashi, "You mean Kiyoe, Kakashi." The girl in question appeared behind Shikamaru, " Hows Abby?" Kakashi smiled down at her glad to see she had fared better than Shiori, "Call her Shiori from now on, and she's sleeping at the moment I stepped out to go shopping and I need your help." She smiled brightly and turned to Shikamaru, "Can I go with Kakashi, Shika?" Shikamaru sent her off with Kakashi and decided to stop by Kakashi's and check on Shiori himself, from what Kiyoe said to him she'd been hurt bad while with Ibiki.

Shiori woke up to the sound of someone poofing into Kakashi's apartment, for a split second she panicked thinking Ibiki had come back for her. She was on the other side of the room ready to chuck a kunai she'd found under Kakashi's pillow when Shikamaru opened the door. She sent the kunai flying and Shikamaru barely ducked out of the room in time, the kunai lodged in the door as Shiori shouted her apologies to a startled Shikamaru. "SORRY! I didn't know it was you Shikamaru, do you know where Kakashi is he has all my clothes?" Shikamaru stayed on the other side of the door and spoke to her from there. "He went shopping with Kiyoe, I'm sure he won't mind if you borrow a shirt." She searched the closet for her own clothes before giving in and taking another one of Kakashi's undershirts.

They sat and talked in the kitchen while waiting for Kakashi to come home, "So what made Ibiki go after you so bad, Kiyoe hardly has a scratch on her?" She couldn't help but laugh at Shikamaru's perplexed look, "I take it Kiyoe is Nina's new name?" Shikamaru nodded his head, "I told him he hit like a girl, then I told him my Nana hit harder than he does so he got a little annoyed to say the least." Shikamaru smirked, "Only you could piss of Ibiki Morino." Kakashi and Kiyoe walked in the front door as he said this, Kiyoe smiled knowingly as Kakashi looked on confusedly. "You have no idea how right you are Shikamaru, Shiori can piss off anyone even a Buddist Monk." Kakashi looked even more confused, "Who'd she piss off?"

"Ibiki Morino, she told him he hit's like a girl, then she told him her Nana hit harder than him." Replied Shikamaru, "I'm almost positive thats not all she said either, Genma's been going around town saying she told Ibiki he had to take her to dinner before she'd fuck him, I believe that's an exaggeration though." Everyone looked to Shiori for conformation, she just smiled at them all. "How bout them Lakers...hehe anywho..." She spotted what appeared to be a packet of instant Ramen popping out of the bags in Kakashi's arm, "Tell me you bought chili and lemon along with that Ramen and I'll be your eternal slave, Hatake." Kakashi smiled at her through his mask, "Eternal slave you say, I ve never had one of those." She found herself sitting there smiling like an idiot at him until Kiyoe and Shikamaru coughed rather loudly to get her attention. They spoke as she blushed beet red, "We'll be leaving now, we have to meet Asuma, Ino and Choji in fifteen minutes for training." Shikamaru and Kiyoe left as Kakashi headed into the kitchen, Shiori close behind eyeing the insta-ramen she loved so dearly. "Sooo...is the Ramen for me." She smiled at Kakashi and batted her eyes as she reached for the ramen. "Yes, I also bought coffee and sunflower seeds Kiyoe said you liked those alot." She forgot all her aches and pains and started ransacking the bags until she found the coffee. "I could kiss you Hatake!" She walked away to make herself coffee, and missed the bemused expression on Kakashi's face.

"You're bleeding all over the kitchen floor, go lay down I'll make your beloved coffee and ramen." Shiori looked down and sure enough one of the more nasty stab wounds on her side had opened up and blood was seeping through the bandages. Looking at it she started feeling woozy and next thing she knew the world was spinning and she was falling. "Hey are you o..." Kakashi dropped the coffee and barely caught her as she fell, she'd passed out either from lack of blood or the sight of blood made her faint.


	6. And So I Died

**A/N: Ok fricking FINALLY! So I've had a bit of writers block but it's gone for now so I shld be Update rather often again. Hope you like it! oh and thanks to my first Revieweee! Lurvly Bookworm73, I LOVE YOU AND YOU GET AN IMAGINARY DINO CUPCAKE FROM MY IMAGINATION!**

**And So I Died.**

She woke up once again not knowing where she was, and she all too quickly realized she was not in Konaha anymore and her wounds were different from what she last remembered. As she sat there looking down at herself she realized she was in a hospital and she couldn't move at all. She watched in confusion as her mother walked in, sobbing followed by a doctor.

"I'm afraid your daughter will never regain consciousness, the car struck her the hardest...my advice is to pull the plug." She watched in fascinated horror as her mother walked over to her hospital bed and reached for the cords of the beeping machine next to her.

_"So this is it huh...this is how I'm going to die. This is so uncool."_

She felt a weird tugging sensation as her mother pulled the plug, she felt her body floating away and her vision got fuzzy, her mind drifted and she saw darkness again. The last thing she heard was her mother whispering into her ear. "I love you, My Pretty."

Shiori woke up wrapped in Kakashi bed, tears falling down her face. She let out a gut wrenching sob as she curled up in a ball. Kakashi found her like that still crying when he came home an hour later. He picked her up and asked what was wrong, thinking that was why she was crying. She looked at him, her eyes empty and pained.

"I died...that's why I'm her Kakashi that's why Kiyoe and Amaya are here, because I'm dead. I just watched my mother say goodbye to me and I died. I'm never going home and neither is she, this isn't some weird dream that I'm going to wake up from. This is it, this is my life now, because I'm dead."

He couldn't convince her to eat or drink anything, after three days of her not moving from where he'd left her on his bed he decided it was time for drastic measures. He called Kiyoe who he'd kept away at her request and sent her in to deal with her.

"You smell like a dirty field worker, your hair is a disaster and you haven't eaten in three days. You are going to get up and go take a shower and brush your damn teeth while I change and wash the blankets and sheets, Kakashi and Shikamaru are going out to buy groceries and Kakashi's even bringing you a book to read, Sasuke, Naruto, Sakura, Ino, Choji and Asuma are all joining us for dinner. I don't know what happened, but I know I passed out when you did and so did Amaya and it was frightening where we went, it was just quiet and cold and so so very dark. I felt so alone and the only thing I thought was I was gonna be ok because I knew you'd bring me back. So now it's my turn to bring you back, get your ass up and snap out of it!"

Shiori smiled up at her and got up, "You know why it was dark and cold Ki-yoe, because you died and so did Amaya. WE'RE DEAD AND WE'RE NEVER GOING HOME AGAIN! I WATCHED MY MOTHER PULL THE FUCKING PLUG ON MY GOD DAMN VENTILATOR! I'm dead." She walked out of the room and into the bathroom slamming the door open and shut on her way out. Kiyoe stood there until Shikamaru walked up and hugged her. They both jumped when Shiori screamed, they heard glass breaking and she went to go help her friend. Kakashi stopped her and walked into the bathroom himself.

He'd expected to see that she'd thrown something into his mirror or out his window, he didn't expect her to be in the shower having punched a hole through the ceramic tiles and into the concrete wall behind them, she stood there fist in the wall as the blood dripped down her and was washed off by the running water. She was shaking and crying silently, she pulled her fist back and punched through the wall again twice more before he hopped in fully clothed and pulled her into his arms stopping her hits. He pulled his soaked clothes off and dropped them, reaching for his shampoo. She just stood there and let him lather the soap into her hair, he washed her clean ignoring the fact that he was a man and she was a naked girl the entire time, once he'd rinsed the soap from both their bodies he reached to shut the water off and was stopped as she leaned into him and placed the barest hint of a kiss to his lips.

"Thank you Kakashi, thank you for protecting me from Ibiki, thank you for taking care of me and thank you for trusting me."

**A/N: OK I know it's short sorry...but the next chapter will be longer I promise! REVIEWS MEAN LOVE! LOVE MEH!**


	7. MissionKidnappedITACHI IS A SEX GOD!

**A/N: I know I go far off the Naruto storyline in this one but who gives a crap it's called fanfiction for a reason heheh hope u like it if not well...go away then no ones forcing you to read this.**

**Chunin Exams**

The passing days were uneventful for her, Kakashi wasn't around very much gone in the morning by the time she woke up. Little did she know they were preparing for the upcoming Chunin Exams. Surprisingly the person who kept her company was Uchiha Sasuke, he'd come by every morning and drag her off to his training sessions.

"The Chunin Exams start tomorrow...we met three of the participants today, Genin from Sand." Kiyoe had been throwing kunai at a target and missed her target at his words. "That would be Gaara, Kankuro and Temari the Sand Triplets, don't underestimate them Kankuro is a Puppet Master, Temari is amazing and frightening with her fan and Gaara likes to kill things plus that sand is like a force field for him."

Sasuke had been sparring with a clone, and stopped to look at her in interest, "And how do you know this Shiori, in fact how did you know everything you told me about Itachi and my clan?" She stopped throwing kunai and started putting her stuff away. "I'm sorry Sasuke I can't tell you." To her surprise and great displeasure Sasuke got pushy and obnoxious, he slammed her against the tree she'd been pulling kunai out of and held a kunai to her throat. "Tell me what you know Shiori!" Her mood already low because of recent events, she snapped. One minute Sasuke had her pinned to the tree, next he was on the floor holding his balls. She'd kneed him in the cajones, and kicked him in the face for good measure. "Don't threaten me you chicken ass haired brat, I may not be a fucking ninja but I'm a hell of a lot more than you want to deal with!" She picked up her bag, throwing her kunai inside and left.

It wasn't long before she ran into someone else she didn't like, she was heading out of the training ground when she found herself facing her new favorite person, Ibiki Morino. "Well if it isn't my favorite interrogator in the whole wide world, what the hell do you want you vicious Torture Nazi?" Ibiki looked like he was fighting off a smile, "Did you just call me a Nazi?" Shiori smiled and shook her head, "No I called you a vicious Torture Nazi, get it right you slow bafoon." She saw the obvious internal battle he fought against slitting her throat and couldn't help but smile knowingly. "So Nazi what do you want?" Ibiki smiled a creepy, evil smile. "I have a few more questions for you, and Hatake isn't here to interfere this time so I advise you to cooperate Shiori-san." She didn't even think about it really one minute she was smiling the next she'd flung a kunai at him and took off, she made it to the edge of Training Ground Five when they caught her.

She was running hoping to hell and back stupid Sasuke was still there, when ANBU fell from the frickin trees and caught her. She screamed and kicked as the guy with a fox mask picked her up by her ponytail, she turned around and kicked him in the shin. "MOTHER FUCKING ASS KISSING ANBU, I HOPE YOU TRIP AND FALL OFF A FUCKING MOUNTAIN AND DIE!" One of the ANBU laughed at her rant and she quickly realized she knew that particular ANBU, it was Genma...

_'He's Kakashi's friend, he'll let Hatake know the stupid Nazi has me in his clutches, then Kakashi will come and save me...I hope.' _

She gave the ANBU holding her one last kick and smiled at Genma, hoping to the Ramen Gods that Genma was as close to Kakashi as fandom led us to believe. She looked at the ANBU holding her and snatched her hair out of his grasp, "Genma can lead the way thank you very much, Jackass!" She stepped pointedly closer to Genma who lost his composure momentarily and busted up laughing. "How'd you know it was me kid?" She smiled up at Genma, "Your laugh, only you would laugh while someone was wishing death upon Towa over here." Towa froze up for a milisecond when she said his name, it was a mere second but she caught it. "Shut up and follow us, brat!"

She didn't appreciate being called brat but she went along with them as told, figuring it wasn't worth the hassle running for it would cause for herself. "So Genma why is such an awesome ninja like yourself kissing Ibiki Morinos ass?" Genma smiled underneath his ANBU mask, "It's my job and Ibiki's not all that bad, you just have this amazing knack for pissing people off."

**Surprise, Surprise Kiyoe's Got A Mission!**

She was silent up until Genma was kicked out of the room, leaving her alone with Ibiki and Towa. "Oh so now you and big, bad Towa are gonna teach me a lesson; am I right?" Ibiki glanced at Towa and he left without a word. "Oh boy just me and my favorite Nazi, just my luck eh..." She was more then surprised when Ibiki not only didn't kill her, but handed her a mission scroll. "EHHH...I thought you hated me and wished death upon me?" Ibiki smirked. "As annoying as you are Shiori, my village depends upon me to do my job and right now my job is to convince you to help us. You'll be paid of course for whatever information you can give us as you'll see in that mission scroll." She smiled a Chesire Cat worthy smile and spoke, "You mean to tell me, that you guys need my help...but don't you want to kill me?" Ibiki looked ready to punch a baby, "No I want to beat some sense into you but killing you is out of the question at this point." She shrugged off the 'at this point' piece and agreed to help them. "All right Ibiki I'll do it, on one condition..." Ibiki started twitching a little as he waited for her to finish speaking. " No questioning me, just go with what I say because I know the future of Konaha and if you don't trust me things will happen and people that we all love will die."

To her great surprise he agreed and went to get the Hokages approval on her request, to her delight the Hokage agreed and her first motion was to have Danzo Shimura executed, after that she told the Hokage the truth about Itachi Uchiha and the death of his Clan. The Hokage disagreed with her, but in the end allowed her and Sasuke to go along with Kakashi and a troupe of ANBU to bring Itachi back as soon as Sasuke completed first part of the Chunin Exams. During the battle in the Forest of Death ANBU were able to stop Orochimaru from marking Sasuke and capture Kabuto, who escaped in the end as exspected.

**A Trip To Save An Uchiha**

She wasn't too surprised that Itachi at first denied what Sasuke was telling him, she was a little surprised when Itachi took her hostage and threatened to slit her throat, even more so when Tobi/Madara appeared and actually went to follow through with slitting her throat only to be stopped by Itachi. "Well shit I was worried for a minute there, Itachi-sama." Itachi glared at her, "You've ruined it all you idiot, Sasuke was supposed to hate me and avenge our Clan becoming a hero to Konaha but now...now he'll never do it." She ignored the battle going on around her and turned on Itachi. "Listen her Itachi who knows all and is like a friggin God! I know how this story ends, don't ask me how I know but I do and the way it ends is your little brother goes crazy and tries to avenge you and in the end he dies...end of story. So the way I see it is you can put your stupid plan aside and come home, where you are now welcome once again and get help for you eyes which I know your having trouble with and have Konahas greatest Medic heal you of the disease thats killing you, which in turn allows you time to gain your brothers forgiveness or...you can die it's all up to you."

Kakashi watched her yell at Itachi out of the corner of his eye as he and the ANBU fought off Madara giving her and Sasuke time to talk to Itachi, so he saw when Itachi activated his Mangekyo and he watched in fascinated horror as she fell to the ground at Itachi's feet. He ignored Madara and ran towards the Uchiha, his kunai missed and Kakashi watched Itachi pick her up and disappear. Sasuke just stood there the entire time...watching everything go down. Kakashi summoned his ninken to track her, only to find out there was nothing to track she was simply gone. Madara disappeared when Itachi left...Kakashi, turned to Sasuke who still just stood there. "It never occured to you Sasuke, to save the civilian facing off with your brother the Non-Civilian murderer?"

"He said ok, that he'd come back to Konaha...and then he took her." Kakashi who had been about to beat the Uchiha to within an inch of his life stopped and stodd there confused. "Then why take her?" Sasuke looked at him and spoke, "I don't know Sensei."

**With A Sickly Uchiha and Pissed Off Teenager...**

She woke up snuggled up in Itachi's arms as the Uchiha walked alongside his blue skinned partner. "Hey uhm...hi yeah where are we?" Itachi looked down at her as if she'd asked a stupid question and he had no time for her. "Were in the woods obviously..." She was willing to be polite until he acted like such a jackass. "Hey Uchiha, mind putting me down I'm not an invalid and I'd like to make my way back to Konaha now." Kisame who'd previously been silent snickered. "Red youre not going back to Konaha youre coming with us to the Akatsuki Lair." Shiori turned and glared at Kisame, " Lair...are you serious, this isn't some super villian cliche movie normal bad guys don't have 'LAIRS' they have homes just like everyone else don't you have a home Fish Boy?" She smiled and played innocent as she waited for Kisame to reply, acting as if she didn't realize she'd just insulted Kisame. She caught Itachi minute and never before seen smile as he caught onto what she was doing, she was so enthralled staring at Itachi that she didn't notice Kisame swing at her, the only reason his fist didn't connect with her head was Itachi's quick action. One moment she was curled up in his arms the next she was on the ground and Itachi was struggling to hold off Kisame who looked absolutely livid.

"Woah Fish Boy chillax, I didn't mean any harm." Kisame looked even angrier if it was possible after she spoke. Itachi kicked her to shut her up, too bad he over estimated her ninja abilities and a kick that would have been easy for a normal kunoichi to take sent her flying through a couple of bushes and land in a crumpled heap of pain. "SON OF A BITCH! THAT HURT YOU JACKASS!" She was up and brushing leaves out of her hair when Itachi appeared next to her, he leaned forward to grab her arm which was dripping blood from where there was a stick lodged in her forearm and she rewarded him with a punch to the face. She turned to walk away from him when he grabbed her and slammed her against a tree using her hair as a handle. "Don't hit me ever again if you value you life, child." Maybe she had an insane wish for death or it could be that she'd snapped and finally lost it, whatever her reasons what she did next was not her fault in any way. She head butted Itachi and bit down onto the arm that he had placed very stupidly next to her mouth. Itachi swore and tried to pull her off of his arm, she only bit down harder drawing blood. She was slammed back into the tree and lifted off her feet by her throat as expected, what she didn't expect was Itachi's lips crashing over hers in a bruising kiss and devouring her from the mouth.

She had her legs wrapped around his waist and was giving as much as she was getting, she wrapped her hand in his hair and pulled him closer as she ground her hips into his arousal. She growled in frustration as he pulled her away and placed her on the ground, "Kisame's coming." She blushed furiously as she realized what she'd just dont with Itachi. She kicked Itachi in the shin as Kisame appeared next to them, Itachi picked her up and threw her over his shoulder and began walking as Kisame laughed at her and she screamed and swore like a sailor. She stopped screaming as Itachi ran his fingers up her inner thigh coming dangerously close to to her crotch. She bit down on her lip to keep from moaning like a wanton slut and stopped fighting. "I'll behave just please put me down and let me walk on my own Itachi, plus the stick may be gone but I'm still bleeding...a lot." Itachi put her down and quickly had to catch her as she passed out. They stopped and set up camp, Itachi carried her into his tent and looked her over with his Sharigan quickly noticing all the wounds that were still healing. "Tortured...who would torture you you're harmless, annoying as hell but still harmless." He bandaged up her arm and layed down next to her covering them both with his blanket and fell asleep as Kisame took first watch.

**Meanwhile Back In Konaha~**

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN ITACHI TOOK HER! THATS NOT OK, THATS SO NOT OK SHE'LL GET HERSELF KILLED IN FIVE MINUTES. IT'S BEEN HER LIFELONG DREAM TO TELL ITACHI OFF!" Kakashi felt like killing the girl himself for all the chaos happening since Itachi took her.

"Calm down Kiyoe, Sasuke says Itachi agreed to come back to Konaha so he'll probably bring her along with him to ensure his safety and entrance into the village." She glared at Kakashi one last time before walking away, "That Uchiha brat better be right or Ima kick his ass." Kakashi watched in amusement as the girl walked away with her dog and Shikamaru trailing behind her leaving Kakashi alone to speak with the Hokage.

"Kakashi do you really believe Itachi will return with the girl?" Kakashi smiled beneath his mask, "Yes or I'll go get her myself and kill whoever get in my way, she's mine to protect and I failed her when Itachi took her away." The Hokage dismissed him and smiled to himself he knew what Kakashi wasn't ready to accept, Kakashi cared alot more than he wanted to let on for the girl.

**Back To Uchiha~**

She was dreaming, she was dreaming she was running, running from her mother who was yelling at her about sleeping too much and Doctors cackling and cutting her with dull rusty scalpels. She fought them off and screamed bloody murder as they held her down trying to cut her eyes out. "DON'T! STOP IT! NOT MY EYES!" She woke up screaming and fighting against the weight holding her down, the weight to her pleasant surprise was Itachi. "Uhh...sorry." He let her up and she scooted away to the farthest corner of the tent and hugged her knees to her chest.

Itachi sat back and watched her curiously until she spoke. "You killed them all but not Sasuke, you obviously love your brother so why go all this time putting him through hell Itachi?" He stiffened up and gave her cold dead eyes, which didn't seem to faze her. "I'm dead..." She smiled at his obvious look of disagreement. "I died in my world that's how I got here, I could have lived if I really wanted too I guess but Amaya and Nin...I mean Kiyoe were dead and living would mean they died forever and I couldn't let them die so I died too, Is that why you killed them all Itachi, is Sasuke so important to you that you let them all die so he could live?" Itachi stayed silent and stared at her, she scooted closer to him and looked into his eyes trying to see the emotions he was hiding. "If so Itachi then come with me back to Konaha I wasn't kidding about you being allowed back Danzo is dead and Madara is too busy being "Tobi" and plotting world domination to stop you, come home with me because if you don't you'll have one more person to kill because my home is with Kiyoe and you're not going to hurt her home which is Konaha without making sure I'm dead first."

Itachi smiled as he back out of the tent leaving her sitting there alone, she listened as he told Kisame to get some sleep that he was taking over. She threw herself down and tried to plan a means of escape figuring Itachi was ignoring her. She nearly screamed her head off when Itachi slipped back into the tent and grabbed her, the only thing stopping her was his hand over her mouth. She stood outside in the cold dark as Itachi packed his tent up and layed down traps around the campsite, he left his Akatsuki ring on top of his Akatsuki cloak and left them where his tent was before pulling her away from the campsite along with a drawn out map pointing out the traps he'd set to protect Kisame. Although he was leaving Akatsuki Kisame had been a good partner and he'd trusted him.

When they were far enough from the camp Itachi spoke, "Im trusting you with my life and I don't even know your name, kunoichi." She smiled up at him and stuck her hand out, "I'm Shiori Hatake." Itachi looked shocked, "Kakashi had a kid?" She smiled even brighter, "No were not related by blood at all, he's my Sensei" She was walking backwards and talking as she did so. "Are you two sleeping together?" She tripped over herself in shock at his question, and ended up flat on her ass. "Uh...no, like I said Sensei him sleeping with me would be against the rules or something right?" Itachi shrugged and helped her up, "Who tortured you?" She pulled her hand away and continued walking. "Answer my question Shiori." Itachi pulled her back to face him, "Who tortured you and why did they do it?" She smiled before stepping away and pulling her arm out of his grasp, "It's none of your business Itachi, stop asking." He pulled her back again, "Yes it is now tell me who did it and why." He growled out the last part in a very un-Uchiha manner. "Ibiki Morino and because we had a disagreement over whether or not his mother was a...well let's just say we disagreed and I pushed one too many buttons than was good for my health." Itachi seemed to accept her answer and continued walking, they reached Konaha by nightfall and Shiori was tackled by and exstatic Kiyoe and Amaya as soon as they were spotted. "Oh my gods I thought I'd never see you again when Kakashi told me that Itachi took you!" She was obviously about to start calling Itachi many unkind names when she noticed his presence next to Shiori. "Oh boy this is...unexpected."

She spent the rest of the night being interrogated by Ibiki and Co. along with Itachi, she was released into Kakashi's custody to Itachi's great dislike, Itachi watched as she walked by his cell with Kakashi walking along side her. She stopped and turned to him, "Remember what I said Itachi, this is her home therefor my home too don't try to hurt it and it can be your home too." She smiled and turned to face Kakashi who was watching her every move, along with Itachi's reaction to her. The girl could move walls if they were in her way he had no doubt about it, and that made his growing feellings towards her even more confusing for the Copy Ninja. "Please Hatake tell me you have coffee waiting at home for me?" He smiled underneath his mask and put his arm around her waist, leading her away from Itachi who was staring daggers. "Coffee, Ramen and you very own Icha Icha Paradise." She smiled even brighter and hugged him, "I swear I could kiss you Kakashi."

Kakashi had seen the way Itachi watched her and he staked his claim to the girl whether she knew it or not she was his and the Uchiha wasn't taking her from him. Kakashi quickly realized he was a perverted old man and surely going to hell for what he wanted from the girl walking next to him babbling about how much she'd improved on not pissing Ibiki off.

**A/N:Review! Review! Review! I COMMANDS YOU TO! Lol Hope you liked it and see much much longer, so tell me what you think?**


	8. OMG Itachi's Gay?

**A/N: I know I'm updating so soon but it's only cuz I've been in the writing mood lately so I figure write it while I can lol**

**Shame, Shame Pervs Tah Blame~**

She woke up curled up in Kakashi's arms again, but she wasn't in any hurry to move from her position until she remembered a certain godly Uchiha and his questions in the woods. At that she pulled herself out of Kakashi's bed and moved to the couch.

They'd fallen asleep while she'd questioned him about his childhood and the reasons behind his mask, but when Kakashi woke up she was gone. He had a moment of panic until he sensed her chakra signature in the next room, sometime in the night she'd moved from his bed to the couch. Four days ago this wouldn't have bothered him but after seeing Itachi watch her so intently he was determined to claim her. He decided to try good old fashioned forwardness with her and see where it got him. He walked over picked her up off the couch and brought her back to the bedroom, he went to kiss her awake and received a fist to the face for it.

**Training Grounds~**

Kiyoe was sparring with Shikamaru when a very embarrassed looking Shiori and a gloomy Kakashi sporting a shiner appeared. Shiori walked away from Kakashi as soon as they got there and practically fainted later on when Itachi and Sasuke showed up. Kiyoe watched as Itachi's gaze went from Shiori to Kakashi's black eye to Shiori who was blushing three shades of red all at once. She decided not to ask questions for the moment and simply come to her friends rescue, but before she could even suggest sparring with her Itachi walked over and beat her to the punch. Everyone heard as Itachi very clearly asked her to spar. "Shiori spar with me...unless a little girl like you can't keep up with me?" She was doomed the moment he spoke, Kiyoe knew Shiori couldn't resist the challenge. "You're going down Uchiha!" Itachi smiled as she fell into his trap. "To make it interesting loser has to go on a date with a person of the winners choosing." Shiori smiled and started to pull her hair up in a ponytail. "Deal, hope you're ready to ask Gai Sensei out for coffee, Itachi." Itachi smirked at her false bravado.

She couldn't believe she'd gone all gung ho and agreed to fight Itachi, she didn't even know any jutsu really the Fireball that saved her life was a fluke. Luckily Kakashi came to her rescue, sort of. "To make things equal Itachi, no ninjutsu or genjutsus Shiori hasn't mastered her jutsu quite yet." Itachi's already predatory smile widened at Kakashi's words. "Ok no ninjutsu or genjutsu only taijutsu, agreed?" Shiori tightened her headband and pulled on her gloves, before agreeing. She screamed a mini battle cry and launched herself at him, he dodged and used her momentum to send her face first into a tree.

Kakashi watched as she got her ass handed to her, jutsu or not Itachi was on a whole different level than his red headed kunoichi.

She was laying in a heap at the foot of yet another tree when Itachi walked up, mistaking her moment of rest as her quitting he leaned down to help her up. She remembered his reaction in the forest after she bit him and decided to try something new. "Hey Kakashi how do you win a spar anyways?" Kakashi started speaking and she knew what she needed to do within moments of his speaking. "Well you knock your opponent unconscious, force them to forfeit, they forfeit of they're own free will or lose control." She smiled to herself as Itachi reached for her hand. "Let's see you lose your cool, Uchiha." She whispered to herself as she reached for Itachi's outstretched hand. She pulled him in and bit down on his forearm just as she did in the forest, pulling a kunai and stabbing him in the thigh as well. Her mouth filled with warm, copper liquid and Itachi did just as he was supposed to. Lost his infamous Uchiha cool.

Kakashi watched in annoyed shock and amazement as Itachi lost... Itachi's Sharingan activated as soon as she bit down, Kakashi was rushing forward to stop what he thought Itachi was going to do when they were all surprised and Itachi kept to the rules instead of using his Sharingan on her he slammed her up against the tree and pinned her arms above her. They watched as he whispered in her ear words only she could hear, sending obvious shivers up and down her body. "Forfeit or I'll take you right here in front of your Sensei and Team for that nasty little trick you just pulled Shiori." She glared at him and spoke. "I give up Itachi wins." Itachi released her and backed away as Kiyoe rushed forward to pull her away from him. "So Uchiha who do I have to ask out...I swear if you say Naruto I'm going to kill you." Itachi smiled as Kakashi began to look nauseous, "Be ready by 8:30 tonight, wear dance appropriate clothing. I'm taking you to dinner and dancing afterwords." Her jaw dropped about the same time Sasukes eyes widened to saucers and Kakashi glared daggers at Itachi. Then to her great dismay her eyes started to water and she had to run for it before she cried and punched the smug bastard from sheer frustration, she dragged Kiyoe along with her and Sakura and Ino followed after them all calling Itachi an ass on their way by. Sasuke shrugged it off, Naruto called him a Perv and Kakashi glared before pulling out Icha Icha and poofing away.

**Plotting A Revenge Outfit~**

"Don't cry over that snobby Uchiha Sweetie, me and Sakura can both tell you Sasuke-kun is way better anyways." Sakura agreed and hugged her, as Kiyoe made her coffee. Ino looked thoughtful before smiling an evil smile, "Hey you got paid for your mission right?" She wiped her eyes one more time before speaking. "Yeah it was more than I know what to do with actually, I haven't found the bookstore around here quite yet." Ino and Sakura both smiled maniacally, "You know the best revenge is to look your best and not let him touch you at all, I mean the whole nine yards Hair, Make-up, Nails, Clothes, and Shoes." Immediately sensing her impending doom she tried to disagree but was cut off as Sakura and Ino dragged her and Kiyoe out the front door. "Nooooo I don't wanna go shopping!"

**Several Hours Later~**

She walked out of the bedroom in her new outfit just as Kakashi walked in the front door.

He watched her walk out from his bedroom and wanted to drag her right back into it, she was wearing a red and black lace up corset, black and red striped thigh high stockings attached to garters with little red bows. A red ballerina petticoat that barely passed as a skirt and knee high boots with red laces, she had kunai's wrapped around her thigh in a custom holster and he watched as the girls pulled her hair up and used sharpened decorative chopsticks to keep her hair up. They painted her lips blood red and lined her eyes with eyeliner so the end result was almost doll like. The last things they added were a silver serrated whip/chain they curled around her wrist as a bracelet and snapped into place, what he swore was a black dog collar with red bows and a pair of red skull earrings.

He walked past them quietly as blood dripped from his nose, thankfully covered up by his mask. "Have fun tonight Shiori." She watched in confusion as Kakashi practically ran into his room, "I don't think he like my outfit guys." The girls smiled knowingly, Ino spoke up first just before there was a knock at the door. "Oh he likes your outfit, just a little bit too much girly." Ino threw a black coat to her before opening the door, she was already completely covered up when Itachi stepped into the apartment. "Are you ready Shiori?" She stared for a moment at Itachi's clothes, he was wearing a black button up shirt and regular jounin pants he'd switched out his shinobi sandals for boots and he had a kunai holster strapped to his thigh much like she did. She stopped herself from drooling but from the smirk Itachi wore he'd caught her staring. She smiled and walked out the door, "Yeah let's go."

They walked for a while before they made it to the business and entertainment district of Konaha, she recognized a few shinobi they passed on their way to the resturaunt they sat down to have sushi and Itachi looked at her expectantly as she sat there confused. "Am I supposed to do something I'm not aware of?" Itachi smiled and looked pointedly down at her knee length coat. "Ahhh you want to see my outfit, well I guess I should take my coat off now that we're inside huh." She watched his face as she unbelted and slipped the coat off revealing her outfit, she wanted to run the other way when his Sharingan activated and he stared at her like a man in a desert with no water. She dropped the coat on the bench before sliding into the booth across from Itachi. She ordered first since Itachi was still staring at her, smiling at her waiter who was staring at her too she placed her order.

"Hey there...Natsuhiko I'd like the *Anakyu Maki Roll, **Negitoro Maki Roll, and ***Ika Maki Roll along with a glass of Rasberry Tea please." She looked over at Itachi expectantly and was surprised to see him glaring at the waiter. "Itachi order so the boy can do his job." Itachi glared at her for a second and ordered. "I'll have the same only make the tea a bottle of warm sake for me." As the waiter ran away from Itachi's glare she got comfortable, she scooted forward bumping Itachi's knees in the process and reached across the table to grab a pair of chopsticks the waiter had dropped off when he first came to take their order. She smiled brightly as Itachi stared at her chest, Sharingan still activated probably memorizing the sight in front of him. "You know it's not nice to stare and I think it's customary to speak with your date Itachi Sempai." Itachi smiled and layed his hands on the table. "Of course forgive me, Shiori-chan." They ate dinner and Itachi paid the bill before wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her along to the club he'd chosen.

She left her coat with the bartender and left Itachi to go dance, she was moving her body along to the beat when someone slipped behind her and began to move with her. She moved where he moved, his arms around her waist guiding her body into the next position. She knew it was Itachi but decided to pretend just for a second they were random strangers just dancing. When a different song came on she pulled away and danced like she was the only one there, moving her hips along with the beat as Itachi watched she danced circles around him. Dropping her ass to the floor and slowly moving her hips till she came back up. He watched her every move, every swing of her hips, her hands guiding her brushing her curls which had come lose as she swung with the beat of the music until the song was over and she left the floor to go get a drink. She was sipping soda through a straw when he grabbed her and teleported them both into the bathroom. His hands were wrapped in her hair, his mouth feeding at her hungrily as she pulled him closer and hooked her leg around his waist. Then suddenly she bit his lip and pushed him away, "This isn't happening not here not now, go get my coat and please take me home now." She fixed her smeared lipstick and make-up before, re-doing her hair and walking out to find Itachi by the door with her coat. She pulled it on with his help and stepped away from him, giving herself some much needed space. She walked ahead of him the entire way back to the house and practically ran up the stair and through the front door, slamming it in Itachi's face before he could even say goodnight. She slid down the door and sat there like that,knee's pulled up against her chest until Kakashi walked out and found her like that.

He picked her up and carried her to the bed, helped her pull off the boots and coat. She pulled off the jewelry and washed her face off, she let her hair down and pulled the kunai holster off before climbing into bed and falling asleep cradled in Kakashi's arms. "Night Kakashi...and thanks for not judging me." He pulled her closer and they both fell asleep.

**Love Child and Gay Boys!**

They sat at the table the next morning Shiori in one of Kakashi's shirt mask combos and the skirt and stockings, Kakashi in his usual outfit eating breakfast when all three girls came barging through the door. "So Red how'd it go?" Ino got it out before the others did, no surprise there... "It's was fine, we went to dinner, we went dancing, I came home...the end." Ino's eye's bugged out, "Wha...what! What do you mean, didn't he react at all to your outfit!" She smiled at Kakashi, the only hint he got to what she was about to do and for him to follow along. "Ok I'm gonna tell you guys a secret that only me, Kakashi, and the Hokage know...but you gotta swear you won't say a word!" They all stared at her expectantly and nodded their heads furiously in agreement. "Itachi is Gay, the date last night was a ruse planned out by me and Kakashi to make the village accept Itachi better. The truth is I'm pregnant with mine and Kakashi's love child and were going to play him off as Itachi's so Konaha will lay off Itachi's back and Itachi can be with the true love of his life Kisame. It was the only way to get Itachi to come home if Kisame could come too, the reason I was crying yesterday is I'm a hormonal pregnant girl ok cut me some slack." The girls looked skeptical but her next words sealed the deal and guaranteed the whole village would know the story and several other versions by nightfall. "But you gotta swear you won't tell anyone, not a soul!" The girls agreed and left them to finish their breakfast, "Love child huh? Why do I always get kids but never get the fun of making the kids..." She smiled up at him as she finished off her coffee. "Wanna make a love child with me Kakashi?" Kakashi choked on his coffee and looked at her incredulously, "You're gonna be the death of me kid." She leaned forward and smiled at him, "Why I'm serious Kakashi, I saw the way you watched me last night and I know for a fact that you liked what you saw so why not?" She smiled even wider, "Of course I was joking about the kid part, but why not the rest." She didn't need to ask him twice, he dropped his book and put down his cup before going around the table picking her up and carrying her into the bedroom.

**A/N: Ok so the song I had playing throughout the entire chapter was Edward Maya&Vika Jigulina's Stereo Love, so that what I pictured her dancing to at the club.****  
**

*Anakyu Maki Roll-Sea Eel and Cucumber Roll

**Negitoro Maki Roll-Toro and Scallion Roll

***Ika Maki Roll-Squid Roll


	9. GAY FOR KISAME

**Gay for Kisame!**

Kakashi was busy doing bad things, very bad things with his mouth underneath the sheets. So you can imagine Shiori's great displeasure when one very pissed off Uchiha Itachi kicked in the door and yanked her out of the bed. "What the hell, you couldn't wait till we finished!" Itachi shook her so hard her head was spinning. "Can you please tell me why half of Konaha is very mistaken in the idea that I am gay for Kisame!" Shiori not even trying to hide her nakedness smiled, "No clue Tachi." Itachi shook her again, "I know you know!" She smiled brightly and grabbed him in a suffocating death hug. "I meant, Ita~kun I'm so glad you and Kisame~san finally came out of the closet, when's the wedding!" Kakashi coughed to cover up his snicker, while Itachi resisted the urge to throttle the deranged kunoichi. He opted instead for revenge, with a scarily accurate imitation Fan~girl screech, Itachi threw her out the window while screaming, "YOU WHORE, YOU SLEPT WITH KAKASHI~KUN!"

Itachi even felt a little bad as Rabid Fan~girls attempted to attack her and got beaten into nothingness, Shiori smirked in victory up at Itachi until she noticed half of the Konaha Shinobi eye~balling the goods. Kakashi smiled as she walked over to an unconscious Naruto and commandeered his jacket. She flipped off Genma, Izumo and Kotetsu who were wolf whistling at her and couldn't help but smile as Genma screamed, "Is that a promise!" Shiori smiled even brighter, "Not even in your dreams Shurenai!" Kakashi was laughing so hard he almost didn't hear Itachi as he walked out the door. "Kisame will kill her for this, watch her Hatake."

**~Meanwhile~ Random Village in Rock Country**

Kisame had been minding his own business, sipping his Sake and eyeballing his current target until a strange man ruined it all. "So Kisame~san I hear you've joined our Rainbow Parade, but where is your boyfriend?" Kisame actually choked on his sake, "My what!" The strange man who Kisame realized was wearing a dress smiled, "Kisame~san now don't be coy wheres your man, Boy-Toy, Secret Lover, otherwise known as Itachi Uchiha." The usually blue shark~man turned an ugly shade of red as the man named Itachi as his lover. "You are sadly mistaken, I'm not gay and even if I was it wouldn't be with Itachi Uchiha." Kisame ignored the flamboyant man and followed his target slipping into the bathroom behind her and slitting her throat while she checked her make-up, Mission complete he headed not for Akatsuki HQ as originally planned but instead for Konaha where he knew Itachi now resided. With only one goal in mind, kill which ever idiot started the rumor regarding him and his ex-teammate.

~**Back to teh Land O' Konaha~**

Shiori was not a happy camper to say the least, it had been a week since Itachi interrupted her and Kakashi, a week and Kakashi was killing her. No sex. No coffee. No sleep...ok she got to sleep but just barely, he'd become a Nazi since Itachi ruined their moment. It wouldn't be so bad if someone had just told her Fish~boy was coming to eat her, and not in the fun way either. So no one can really blame her for what happened next. Sparring with Sakura was her least favorite thing of all the unfavorites, Sakura is to put it kindly a wimp. All she did was analyze and criticize Shiori's every move never making any herself. "No you're not putting enough 'oomph' into that punch!" Shiori grimaced, "I'll give you some oomph you persnickety little bitch, IS THIS ENOUGH OOMPH FOR YOU SAK-U-RA!" Shiori slammed into the kunoichi with a chakra filled punch and sent her flying across the training grounds. Naruto ran over to his now unconscious teammate as did Kakashi and surprisingly even Sasuke, the only one who stayed with her was Itachi. "You could have broken her neck Shiori..." She smiled and turned to the Uchiha, "Nah that pink haired bitch is made of tougher stuff she'll come round right...about...now." Itachi smirked as Sasuke and Naruto were sent flying, because they'd been stupid enough to loom over Sakura. Sakura locked eyes on Shiori as she smiled and raised her hand in a V for victory. "Your going to die, Hatake." Shiori smiled even brighter. "Now, now Sakura it's not nice to threaten Sensei, even if the bastard does with hold sexual favors." Sakura blushed at her vulgarity and stomped over and took her fighting stance. "You know what I mean Shiori, quit being so vulgar!" Itachi laughing on the inside watched as Shiori took her own stance. "Yeah I do, but it's fun fucking with you Pinkie!" With that she flipped away and avoided the punch Sakura had flung at her face.

"Oww...ow...ow...owwwww, Kakashi you suck at tending to the wounded!" Kakashi smiled beneath his ever present mask. "You wouldn't be wounded if you had been more careful." She glared at him and pulled her singed arm away. "Whatever, it would have been fine if her hair hadn't caught fire, how was I supposed to know Sakuras hair was so flamable anyways..." She stared off into the corner refusing to look at the disaster that was Sakura's hair, having a very big feeling if she laughed at Sakura again, the little kunoichi would start to cry. "Sooooo...how bout them Lakers...yeah...ahmm...I'm hungry, Naruto you want Ramen?" Naruto did as expected and jumped up and carried her off to have Ramen, Kakashi was attempting to stop them by pointing out they had no money. "Don't worry Naruto, we'll put it on Itachi's tab! Later Bitchez! Onward Fox~boy!"

**A/N: Mwhuaha I'm so evil, I enjoy this much too much. Thanks for the Reviews sorry it's been awhile since my last Update, I got a job as a Nanny and it's kept me pretty busy lol. Well if you like it Review, Tell me what you think! Either way I'll update again but Reviews let me know what I need to work on.**

**Laterz! ~Batman~**


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